Help or Harm
by Centroides
Summary: When someone asks for help can Garrison trust him? Past betrayals have made him suspicious especially where his men are concerned.
1. Chapter 1

Help or harm

Sitting in The Doves with his men, Garrison lifted his pint as his mind drifted back to the conversation with Hughes. Had he been too eager to believe the obvious, that G-CAT was working with the Army? He did not really want to believe this. The Army was supposed to be impartial. Was there another explanation?

"There is another possible explanation," said Actor evenly.

Garrison's head snapped up. It was as if the conman could read his mind and that was not a comfortable thought. He waited.

"From the look on your face you are considering the implications of what we learned today but like I said there could be another explanation." Actor handed Casino his glass as the safecracker left to get another drink. The pub was busy tonight and getting the drinks themselves was faster than waiting for the barmaid.

"I do not know how your department is laid out but I assume that there are strategists at the top but somewhere down the line is a clerk who schedules who or which team is sent on each mission or who is up next. This man could be singlehandedly responsible. If he had worked for G-CAT in his civilian prewar life or if he is friends with someone at G-CAT then he could have manipulated the schedule. I am unsure how we would determine the truth of this theory. Any ideas?"

Having felt the pain of jumping to a conclusion that he did not like, the Officer was not about to jump to another just because it was less painful. But he did like this one better.

How could they prove it? If they did manage to prove it and determine who it was, could they do anything about it? No. It was all legal, G-CAT was legal. All they could do was try to guard against anything that might harm Chief. On the darker side, if they found out who was tied to that organization his men were liable to do something that would definitely be illegal. He would have to leave that alone as much as it rankled him.

If the war was not bad enough now they had to worry about their own people trying to harm them. It was going to be a long war and their odds of surviving had just dropped or at least Chief's had.

The following day Lieutenant Garrison had been summoned to London for a briefing. That completed, he was heading down the hall on his way to the jeep that would take him back to his base where his men were billeted.

"Lieutenant? Lieutenant Garrison?" The words slowed Garrison's stride and he turned. A Captain was approaching looking determined. He was shorter by inches, a year or two older and as he approached he looked nervous but determined.

When he neared enough to speak he was hesitant. "Can I have a word with you, somewhere, in private?"

In spite of being unsure of his intentions and not knowing how long it might take, he figured a moment could not hurt. "Sure. Let's get a coffee."

"My name's Howard Baines," he started when they had sat down, "and I transferred to Intelligence six weeks ago. I started training with three men and then I was… "He looked away, gathered himself and started again. "I hear you have a Guardian." The words hung there for a moment as he looked up.

Garrison had not been prepared for that but he nodded. It was true.

"How do you …" His free hand moved in a questioning manner. "I mean…," and he sighed, unsure of how to proceed.

Garrison did not have time to wait so he offered what he thought was being asked. "How do I work him when we're away?"

The Captain looked relieved. "Yeah. I heard you…" stopping as his eyes went to his companion's rank insignia and then away.

"Yeah, I lost my bars." No one spoke as they each considered what that meant.

Baines broke the silence hopefully. "I am sorry to hear that but I would like to avoid that if I can." Again there was a pause. His present situation was untenable and if the Lieutenant knew a secret that would fix that then he had to know, even if it was against regulations or even illegal and or immoral, he had to know.

"I probably shouldn't ask but," he continued quietly, "but he's going to get us all killed. The only solution I see is sending him into a minefield and I can't do that. I was just hoping you could help. You've obviously found a way to work with yours." After a beat he grimaced and said, "You didn't get rid of him did you?"

Garrison watched the Captain. He certainly looked miserable and his story was plausible. It was exactly how he had felt when he had received his Guardian, always kneeling, having to be told exactly what to do, asking permission to talk… His thoughts had not contained a mine field but the end results were just as fatal.

"What level is he on?" he asked trying to get more information. The problem for Garrison was that this job had built on his naturally analytical mind that made him think before talking. The Guardian's care and ever present fear of G-CAT had made him suspicious when he was involved or even peripherally mentioned. Even his reports and debriefings were couched to reflect a drugged Guardian. The farce in Italy had shown he had been wise to do this with G-CAT having fingers in the Army.

"CL3"

"Rogue." It was a statement not a question.

"Yeah, that's what he said." Baines sounded a bit less miserable.

"The Trainer?"

"Yeah."

"You remember his name?"

"Ah, Kimberman, Kimberly, something like that. Is that important?"

Garrison, ever cautious had to find a way to confirm this information. Chief? Would he know him? "I don't have time right now but if we get together, me and couple of my guys and you and your Guardian, maybe I can show you a few things to make it easier."

The smile of relief lit his face and in his eagerness he blurted out, "How about right now. He's right outside."

Garrison was encouraged by the use if the pronoun 'he' instead of 'it' but leaving the Guardian outside was not good. It was cold and rainy today. "I'll come see him but I don't have time for more than that. I have to get back." They finished their coffee and left.

Baines led him outside where the rain had tapered off into a drizzle and the breeze had stilled. The air was clean but everything was cold and wet. He was led to a sedan. When the door was opened he saw a small figure sitting wrapped in a blanket in the back seat. His head was down in the respectful position. Chief had told him that Guardians were taught they were not worthy to look a real person in the eye.

"Guardian, …"

"No, leave him there. Give me a number where I can contact you. I'll call when we get back and we'll set something up."

"Thanks, Garrison. You got a paper? I got a pen." Between them Craig got a phone number and was soon on his way.

The teams briefing went smoothly, it was not a complicated job, and they were soon under way. The delivery was by Fairmile Motor Launch and with its shallow draft, it got them very close to the shore. A short paddle in a dingy and they were ashore. Hiding the boat was easy in the trees and grasses that grew up past the high water mark. From there they headed inland. There was no contact in this area so they were on their own. The Enemy Ammo dump was their first objective. Craig had hoped to reach it and take what they needed before dawn but by the time they arrived they saw the shift change was in progress. That meant fresh eyes were guarding the premises. Too dangerous, they would wait.

"We'll need a place to stay. Let's head back to town," said Garrison as he turned away.

"There's a shed over that way," offered their Guardian.

"Why a shed? Can't we have a nice warm place?" whined Goniff. "Like one a those 'otels Actor's always talking about."

"Got cows in it. They'll keep you warm."

"You can see the cows from here?" asked Casino as he peered into the distance. Just how far could the guy see?

"Nope, can smell'm."

"Oh, thanks. Just what I wanted. To stand in a pile of shit."

"If it's fresh it's warm."

"And you would know that from experience? Stand in shit often, do you?"

"Only when I'm standing near you."

"Knock it off," said Garrison forcefully before the fist could fly. "How far's this shed?"

"I ain't sleeping in no cow shit."

"Casino, Shut, Up."

"Probably the other side of those trees over there." The Depot was out in a farmer's field beside the woodlot. It made sense that the cow shed was somewhere nearby.

"Let's go." He led off with the others following.

Twenty minutes later they approached the building. It was still in good repair, the roof was straight and the windows intact. Chief waited a moment before silently moving up to the door. A quick look and he stepped inside. Twenty animals at least but no humans. He waved the others in.

"Stinks in here."

"And yours don't?"

"One more word from either of you and I will personally shove a handful of the freshest down your throat." Silence reigned. Garrison set the watch rotation and the others found their spots in the pile of straw in the corner. Casino started off with his coat lapel pulled over his nose but soon gave up when he realized he could no longer smell the cows. He was not going to admit it to the Indian and certainly not in Garrison's presence. Not that he was afraid of the guy but then why invite trouble.

The day passed slowly. Not having a local contact to supply them they had brought some food and Chief managed to build a fire out back away from the enemy instillation. Using an old can to heat the water they made coffee and somewhat warmed the rations. It was better than nothing.

After the evening meal and it began to get dark, Garrison and Casino headed for the ammo dump. From their vantage point in the trees they located what they needed.

Garrison had been told that the bridge they were to blow up was made of stone so they would need plenty of explosives and because of the span they need a long fuse wire. So far they had not spotted any. That was going to be a problem.

Not long before shift change Garrison, Casino and Chief silently approached the fence. The barrier had been put up hastily and it was Chief who had found the gap. It was created by a small gully that ran through the dump and down to the trees. By crawling on their bellies they would be able to gain entry. Garrison had squatted down in preparation of sliding under when Chief grabbed their arms and pulled. Three figures melted back into the trees. There was silence for a full minute before a touch told them they could return.

As the reached the fence they heard in the distance a tired voice say, "Hund roch wohl ein Kaninchen."

The dog would have alerted the guards. When had the dog appeared? It was not there earlier. This meant they would have to be in and out before the dog made another circuit unless the guards thought the dog was smelling the rabbit if it reacted to their scent. Garrison decided that that was too risky. He indicated they should retreat again. They would wait.

The dog did not return for half an hour so as soon as it was safely past they returned to the spot by the fence and the two men slid under while Chief remained as their look out. During the last of the daylight they had memorized the location of the items they wanted so they headed there first. There was still the problem of the detonation devise. The wait had cut their time allowance before the shift change so they would have to hurry.

Long minutes whispered by as the Guardian waited. He tried tracking their movements but extending his hearing brought other louder sounds as well. Fearing getting lost he pulled back and waited. Finally he heard them approaching and as he crouched by the fence he gave the night call. It was the sound made by a night bird, he did not know what it was called but it fit in with the night. The two men would use this to lead them to the exit. Sure enough two darker shadows appeared and shoved bundles under the wire. He pulled them through and waited for the men.

Carrying their booty they headed for the cow shed. The supplies were divided up among the men and they headed to their destination. They had to get it all accomplished tonight and hope that the other team who they were working with carried out their part of the mission. A well-placed source had told of a major movement of tanks to an area that the Allies were interested in. The local Resistance was planning several acts of sabotage in the area and the presence of all the extra troops and weaponry was going to make it harder. Their job was to blow up the bridge leading to the town thus diverting the traffic and delaying the move while the other team was to assist the Resistance.

It took them several hours on foot to reach their destination. They had seen pictures of the bridge so they had an idea but since then an extra security measure had been taken. By the light of the almost full moon they could see the sandbags that guarded a machine gun. According to Chief there were two soldiers with it behind the bags.

They retreated, knowing that voices carry farther at night.

"Think we can we get past them?" asked Goniff.

"I'm sure we could but just placing the explosives is going to make some noise." Their explosive expert knew what he was talking about.

"The gun is heavy and is pointed in the other direction. If we slip in behind them it would take them time to move it," offered Actor.

Garrison found the flaw. "That is if they didn't just turn and shoot with a pistol." He looked around. "We have to draw them out."

"Or distract them," interrupted Actor.

They went with Actor's suggestion. Seeing as the only two who could speak French were Actor and their leader it fell to them to divert while Chief and Casino slipped along the banks of the river up behind the guards. Two French men were singing lustily as they approached the bridge. The span joined the countryside to the town. They had approached from the rural side so they were men returning to their homes. The guards waited until they were closer and then called out for them to 'Halt'. The men did, obediently. Actor called out for a light for his cigarette but was refused and told to get moving. As they approached the foot of the bridge there was a rustling and a thud followed by a small splash but the men continued until they heard the word.

"Clear." Chief and Casino had carried out their jobs. With that they returned to the fortification. Chief and Goniff took the dead soldiers' places and the others headed under the bridge.

Without proper lighting it took most of the night to wire the bridge. Because they had not found a way to set the explosives off they had to place the charges where they would be visible from down the river bank and hope they were not found. Finally when they were done they crept away down the river to wait until the tanks arrived. Actor, Casino and Goniff headed for the closest vantage point, a woodlot about a quarter of a mile inland. They would wait there.

It was damp and there was no shelter in the immediate vicinity of the bridge. A cold wind was blowing down the river to add to their discomfort. In desperation they built a small fire to at least warm their hands.

Dawn was only half an hour away when Chief alerted his leader to the sound of approaching tanks. Ten minutes later he picked up on it too. Chief got into position with their rifle and waited. Everything depended on his eye and his aim. Garrison wanted to ask him if he was ready but knew that was pointless.

The sky was beginning to lighten when the first tank came into view. Both men remained motionless along the bank. When the first tank began to mount the bridge Chief fired the first round. Nothing happened as he fired the second and the third. Had he missed? Garrison held his breath and stared in disbelief and disappointment. When the lead tank was almost at the apex, it lurched and the center portion of the bridge under it dropped, tank and all, into the river. He had not missed.

Garrison managed not to cheer at the sight. Instead they began the long slow crawl away. The land was fairly flat so it would be a while before they could risk standing. Eventually they reached a point far enough away that they took a chance. They stood and made their way to where the others were waiting.

"Nice shot Chief," said Actor.

"Yeah, good shooting, can we go now?"

Five cold and tired men made their way to the meeting place. This was an old barn that fortunately for them was still standing. They had two days to wait for the other team and then they would be picked up by air. Two days to sit and wait. Not a good situation for Garrison's Gorillas.

"Hey Warden, Goniff and I're going into town to see what's going on."

"You're to stay here and wait."

"Wait for what. We got two days and we're not sitting here doing nothing," said Casino angrily.

Actor saw the mutiny drawing closer. "Lieutenant, it might be a good idea to see how things are going with the other team. If they have run into a snag they might need a hand."

Garrison capitulated and they all went into town. Chief suggested he wait there in case the other team arrived but the officer said no, he wanted them all together. Later when they returned to sleep Garrison was up to take the watch. He called to Chief and he followed him out. There was a warm breeze and the stars were out but dimmed by the light of the full moon. It was a good evening for a talk. When they were away from the building he lit a cigarette and began.

"Chief, do you know many of the other Guardians?"

"No. They kept us apart and we weren't allowed to talk." He waited knowing there had to be a reason for asking. Garrison did not make idle chit chat and he respected him for that so he waited.

"I was approached by someone in Intelligence who claimed to have a Guardian. He wanted help working him; said he heard I was able to work you in the field. I told him nothing."

Chief knew that did not have to be said. His Hearth would never betray him.

"He showed me a man who was Indian but I don't know if he was a Guardian or not."

Chief understood what he was not saying. After being conned in Italy by the Army, they could not trust anyone. Him being undrugged had to be their secret. If word got to the wrong ears he was dead, painfully and slowly dead.

"I told him that I would meet with him when we got back and I would bring a few of my guys to give him some tips." He paused then resumed. "I was hoping that you would be able to tell if he is really a Guardian."

"I'll go with you." With those few words it was settled and no more needed to be said.

When they returned to their base Garrison called them all into his Office and told the others what he had told Chief. He was going to make the call to set up a meeting with the other team, who being all soldiers, was billeted at the military base.

"Is there a way you can tell if he really is a Guardian?" asked Garrison considering all the possibilities. "I guess you could ask him to do a scan."

"Yeah, I could."

"Your caution says you suspect a trap." Actor saw the concern on the Officer's face.

"After Italy…"

"… And Hugh's angry response to you denying him another trial."

"That too," agreed the Officer. "We'll go and meet them. Actor, you and I will draw him off and Chief, you do what you have to be sure."

"And if he is?" asked Chief. There was a touch of eagerness or was it optimism. Chief hoped he was really a Guardian. The other men wondered if he was lonely for the company of one of his own kind.

"That will be up to Captain Baines and his Guardian."

"You think he'll let him off it?" Chief asked tentatively.

"I don't know. He seemed pretty desperate for help."

"You gonna tell'm who I am?"

"We could have you go as Casino," suggested Actor helpfully.

"Casino?" he asked doubtfully.

"Dark hair, dark eyes, you two could be brothers," said Actor, still smiling.

"But what if he's seen us and knows or if it's a set up," he was getting worried now. "If it's …"

"You have a point. We'll have to get them somewhere we can control."

"You don't want them here?" asked Casino.

"I would prefer somewhere else." They all read the distrust in his voice. "The problem is the Guardian." He could not miss the puzzled looks. "He's going to draw attention to us and that is what we don't need." The looks turned to ones of comprehension. A man kneeling with his head down was an attention getter.

"We'll have to do it here. I'll tell him to bring just the Guardian. We'll go to the sitting room. Actor, you stay with the Guardian, I'll find an excuse to get Baines out of the room. Chief, you'll be on the porch. You come in and check out the Guardian then tell Actor and leave. When we return you can let me know."

"Then what? That was the question they all wanted an answer to.

"Nice place you got here," said the Captain looking around at the beautiful foyer.

"Thank you. Actor, will you take the Guardian into the sitting room." Garrison turned back to his guest. "Come, I'll give you a tour."

The Captain took a step then stopped and turned to the smaller man, "Guardian go with him." He waited until he began to move then turned back to his host. The two soldiers set off.

Actor watched the younger man. He was shorter than Chief by several inches standing only about five foot seven and he was thin, very thin. The shirt and pants hung on him. He could not see his eyes; they were glued to the floor. He walked like Chief had when he had arrived. This really drove home how much Chief had changed. He wanted to give this to him as well. When they reached the sitting room he told the Guardian to sit on the chair. He perched on the edge looking uncomfortable, as if he was just waiting for the signal to drop to the floor.

Out on the porch Chief had felt the familiar sensation signalling the presence of another of his kind. A Guardian was here. He waited until he heard movement in the room then taking a calming breath he opened the door and entered the room. At the sound of the handle moving the thin man dropped to the floor.

The sight of the small hunched figure kneeling on the floor brought back all the horrible memories he had tried to supress. That had been him not that long ago. He could still feel the hard floor under his knees, the calluses on the top of his ankles that had barely healed and the gnawing hunger from not enough food. Memories of pain streaked across his back from the whippings and beatings he had endured. His heart ached.

He stepped closer and knelt in front of him. "He's a friend. He won't hurt you." He waited then continued in the same low voice. "What's your name? Your real name?"

Nothing happened but Chief heard his heart rate slowing, his panic was easing. Chief waited. Finally the thin man's head lifted ever so slightly as he looked around. As his head rose he turned so he could see Actor out of the corner of his eye. He did not trust completely. A quick glance around the room, including Chief, and his eyes dropped again.

In a tiny whisper he said, "Always Running."

Chief had watched closely so he had seen the bloody spot in his eye. He had been hit hard not that long ago. Keeping the anger out of his voice, he asked, "He the one who hit you?" He too kept his voice low. The other Guardian shook his head marginally. "He treat you bad?" Again the denial but accompanied with a quick look. Chief knew that look. Dare to hope.

Minutes later Garrison and Baines returned and entered the room. The Lieutenant was surprised to see Chief still there but he said nothing as he saw the Indian nod. The other Guardian had put his head back down before they even walked in. He had heard his Handler coming.

"See what I mean?" he said as he looked at the prostrate figure. "This is what he does every time I come into the room." He turned to Garrison. "You know what I mean. How did you deal with this? How do I get him to stop doing this?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't even know his name. The Trainer called him by a number but that's too impersonal. I've been calling him Joe. I don't even know if he minds," he added sadly. "Tell me what to do."

"Always Running."

"No. He just kneels there."

"His name."

"He told you?" Baines sounded pleased and surprised. "I asked but he wouldn't answer." He turned to the kneeling figure and said, "Always running, stand up." There was no movement. Baines looked at Chief as if to say, 'see?'

"There's somethin' you gotta do first before that'll work."

"What's that?" There was a trace of willingness to try in his voice.

"Get'm off the drugs." Chief's lip curled in disgust.

The Captain was shocked. That was certainly not what he expected. "But then how will I work him? The drugs help him to concentrate."

"No they don't." The disgust was growing.

Actor could see that Chief had allowed his anger at the treatment of a fellow Guardian to override his usual caution. "What he means is that we have found that many of the things that G-CAT has said are not true. It is true that it helps but it is not entirely necessary. The drug is responsible for this kind of behavior."

"So," he said as he looked to the Guardian, "If I stop giving him the shots then,"

This was the moment they had worried about. Would he go for it? He was the one who had to suggest it and agree. They could not force him; it had to be his decision. They watched as he looked to Garrison.

"Is that what you did?" His face showed his concern especially when he did not receive an answer. This told him that he was right but he would not admit it because it was illegal. He looked to Actor but he was not revealing anything either.

"What about G-CAT? What did they say?"

"Didn't tell'm."

Captain Baines, believer in following the rules, was shocked by this whole situation. "But…" He looked to Always Running and asked, "What does he say?" In desperation he looked to Chief, "Did you ask him?"

Chief cannot hold his anger any longer. "He won't tell you. He's afraid a you."

"Afraid? Of me?" He was shocked. "Why would he be afraid of me? I've never done anything to hurt him. I've never even done any of those things the Trainer showed me."

"Guardians are taught to be afraid. Easier to control that way."

Baines looked at Chief, eyes widening as the realization hit him. "You're a Guardian." He turned to his fellow officer for confirmation or denial then back to Chief. "He doesn't give you the drug, does he?" It was posed as a question but he was not asking. He knew.

Stepping closer to the man on the floor he said, "Guardian, Stand up." When he did he said, "Is that what you want?" There was no answer. The drugged Guardian remained still, eyes on the floor.

"Tell'm," said Chief with anger in his voice. When nothing happened he added, "Do it. If you want it, then tell'm."

"Permission to speak, Handler." His voice quavered with fear and uncertainty.

"Yes, tell me. Is that what you want? Off the drugs?" There was a tiny downward motion of his head and then back up. "But what about the… The Trainer said that when you didn't get…"

"It's bad," said Garrison stepping in. "I was there when Chief went through it and it was bad. We did find some ways that helped him."

"What if it gets too bad?"

"If he reaches the point he can't go on then we give him the shot but it has to be his decision." Garrison wanted to be real clear on that.

Baines looked unsure. There was just so much to take in all at once. And this final step; taking him off the drugs. The Trainer had told him that the drugs were necessary, that they had to have them. But if the drugs made him fall on the floor whenever he came into the room then he had to do something. It was ultimately his decision; he was responsible for the Guardian's welfare but he was not the one who had to go through it.

"Always Running, Guardian, are you sure about this? Are you prepared for the… how bad it could get?"

"He seen it."

"You've seen someone go through it?" He saw the nod.

Baines looked to the other men in the room. Decision made, he said, "Tell me what to do. If Always Running wants it and is willing and he knows what he has to go through then I'll do what I can to help."

Garrison looked to Chief and saw the nod. "If you'd like, we can see him through it. You can't do it at the base; too many eyes."

Baines nodded.

"There's one more thing," said Chief. That got everyone's attention. "He could die."

"Die?" Baines did not like the sound of that. "Always Running, are you sure? Did you know you could die?" He watched in disbelief as he nodded. He was willing to risk death for this.

Captain Baines requested and was given a three day pass along with his Guardian. They returned to Garrison's base and the two Guardians headed for the playroom. He had not had his scheduled shot so he was already trembling when he got there. Baines wanted to help but Chief refused. He did relent and allow someone to check on them hourly in case he needed anything.

Ice, food, and water were delivered as requested. Everyone chipped in to help, taking turns. The Gorillas had seen it before but they still were disturbed by the sight of someone in such agony. The feeling of helplessness made it even worse. Captain Baines wanted to call it off. Even knowing that it would be bad had not prepared him for the sight. Always Running refused to surrender.

By the third day everyone was tired; the men in the playroom were exhausted. When Garrison tapped on and opened the door he was encouraged to see the two Guardians sitting quietly on the mattress. Always Running had his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands rubbing his temples but he did not look to be as agitated as he had been. Chief was sprawled on the mattress with his back leaning against the wall. He looked beat.

"I brought some breakfast," the Officer said as he put the tray on the floor. "How're you feeling, Always Running?"

His head came up and turned but the eyes were vacant, his skin was pale and his hands were shaking. Garrison brought a cup of water over and held it out. "Here. Do you want some toast?"

There was a flicker of recognition and a small smile as he reached out his hands. He took the cup but seemed unaware of or unable to correct the angle of the cup as the water spilled over the side. He drained the rest. The toast was refused. He was too tired.

An hour later Actor tapped and entered. From Garrison's last report he expected, or hoped to see both men sleeping. Chief sat on the middle of the floor sideways to the door, his legs splayed out in front. Always Running lay half in is lap, head on his chest, his body lying on his side between the other Guardian's legs. Chief's arms were around him cradling him to his chest. His head was down.

Not wanting to disturb the two he came over quietly to check before taking the tray away. As he came around he realized that something was not right. The second Guardian was so still, too still, the way he was laying, the way his hand lay open on the floor. Actor's eyes went to his face, seeing the slack face, the slightly open eyes and he knew.

"Chief?" There was no reaction. "Let me help you lay him down," he said but Chief pulled him tighter and shook his head. The conman reached out to check his pulse but Chief pushed his hand away.

"No."

"Chief, let him go."

"It's my fault," the Indian whispered. "I shoulda left'm and he'd still," he choked, "he's still be alive. I killed him."

"It was his choice," answered Actor quietly but firmly.

"No it wasn't. He was drugged, he had no choice. I was wrong." Chief started rocking side to side.

"When you were on the drug, did you want off it?"

"That's different."

"How? How is it different?

"Just is."

"No it isn't," said Actor firmly. "You wanted off it. Why wouldn't he want off it too? He took a chance. Did he know this might happen?"

"We all did. They made us watch a Guardian go through this. He knew."

"So then it isn't your fault. He knew the consequences, the risks and wanted to do it anyway. It is a tragedy but it's not your fault."

No more was said so Actor left. He thought he knew what might help. Ten minutes later Actor returned with the two Officers and went and knelt beside the men on the floor. Chief tightened his grip as Actor held up his hand and began speaking in a language Chief did not understand. It was almost a chant.

Chief listened until Actor finished then watched as he touched his head, heart and then shoulders and lips before bowing his head in silence.

Actor looked up, his face solemn. "I have asked my god to hold him gently and then let him go if that is what he wants. He will be at peace. I do not know the words for your religion and all I have to offer are mine. They come from my heart.

"It hurt me deeply to see him in so much pain as it hurt me to see you go through it but near the end he was calmer. He knew he was free. He was soon to be at peace. Now he is not only at peace but he is truly free. No more orders, no more collar, no more Handler. You have given this to him." There were tears in his eyes.

Garrison thought Actor had gotten through until Chief said, "I made him do it." His voice was tinged with self-loathing.

"How did you make him do it?" asked Garrison. "You twist his arm?"

"No," and he shook his head sadly.

"Put a knife to his throat?" There was another head shake. "You talked him into it?" This time there was no denial. "And when it got too bad and he wanted to quit, you wouldn't let him." No reaction. "Every time someone came in to check, you threatened him." This time there was a negative head shake.

"Then how did you make him go through it? How? Tell me." When there was no answer he said, "In other words, you didn't."

"If I hadn't told him…"

"He would still be on his knees, drugged into slavery. Is that what he really wanted?"

"He'd be alive," shot back Chief.

"Would he? Is that living? You've been there. Is it?

Chief laid his cheek on the top of the other man's head and whispered, "No."

"You didn't kill him. You gave him the greatest gift anyone can give a Guardian, especially a Rogue. You gave him a choice, you gave him a chance and now you have given him peace. Look at his face. Go on, look at him." Garrison waited for compliance then asked, "What do you see? Is he in agony? Is he defeated?" Then with deliberate force he asked, "Is he on his knees?" When he saw the slight shake of his head he said, softer now, "You gave him that. You picked him up off his knees. Dying was the chance he took and it is sad that he died but you did not kill him."

As Garrison paused Actor said, "If he had tried this alone the end result would have been the same but you were here with him every step of the way. He knew that and even if he did not say it, he knew. Remember how you felt knowing that the Warden was with you the first time you had to go through that and Casino the second."

Chief could not tell him that that was not the first time he had beaten the drugs. That first time he was alone in a ditch. It had been better having someone who cared. There had been times since when he had wished that he had died and it would be all over. The knife in his heart was shrinking. What the men said helped ease the terrible guilt he felt. He looked down to the face of the man he had killed. Had he killed him or was there some truth to what his friends had said? Had he freed him? He knew the risk, they all did and he took it anyway. Drug free and tied or completely free? With those options why wouldn't a Guardian chose this?

There was a long pause as Chief sat there looking at the other man. Then he said, "Give me a little time to say good bye," Chief was no longer whispering but his voice was small and sad.

The three men stepped out into the hall where Casino and Goniff waited. While Garrison explained to his men what had happened Captain Baines tried to understand what he had just seen. His world had been tipped upside down and shaken out. Now his thoughts swirled. His Guardian, who he had felt ambivalent about, was dead and another Guardian was devastated. His Guardian could have been like Garrison's. Always Running chose possible death to be clear of the drugs. How bad was it that a man would risk death? He had not really thought about the Guardian's feelings, his desires. Was it true what Garrison had said about 'drugged into slavery'? Chief was a Guardian and he was just like them. He was not on the drugs and he was just like them. Was it possible that all the Guardians had been drugged into slavery? Did all Guardians want off the drugs? What had he done every time he had given Always Running his injection? Had he hated him for doing it? Did he understand he had done what he thought was right? There was a small thought about what he was going to tell his superior about his Guardian but it was only a small part. The sight of a man sitting alone on the floor holding another man's body tightly to his chest was a sight that was going to stay with him a long time. Then there was the picture of Garrison and his second kneeling there talking to him, trying to console him. These men cared about their Guardian. Guilt stabbed him in the heart. He had come to Garrison for answers on how to get rid of his Guardian and he pictured what he had said about sending him into a mine field. He was an evil man to think such thoughts about another human being. He was going to be asking God for forgiveness for a long time.

Minutes later all the men came into the room and Garrison approached the two men who had not moved. He squatted down beside Chief and said, "It's time."

Chief replied quietly, "I know," as a tear slid down his cheek as he rested his head on the top of the other man's head. As Garrison stood he added, "I wan'm buried here. I'll dig his grave. Coroner won't take him and he might call G-CAT. They'll take him and he'll never be at peace." His throat closed but he managed to push out a, "Please."

"He has to issue a death certificate and as long as no one says anything he won't know. The Army will require one. It would also be better if we could ask the parish priest if we could bury him in the cemetery. Then you don't have to ever worry about him being disturbed, even after the war.

'No priest. Actor done that already." Garrison looked to con man inquiringly. "He don't need a coffin. In the old days they didn't have one. They just buried him with what he had. I could give'm one a my knives."

"I got a little wooden dog he could 'ave," offered Goniff.

"And I got an extra deck of cards," put in Casino. Chief said nothing but his friends knew without words that he appreciated their gestures.

Days later Garrison called Howard Baines and told him the news. Always Running had died of a stroke and was to be buried in the local church cemetery. There was not going to be a service but the priest would be present at the burial and would say a few words. He was welcome to come if he wished. He thanked the officer but he would be unable to attend. The reason was understood.

The Army supplied the simple coffin and the Gorillas were assured that their tributes had been enclosed. The men gathered for the simple ceremony, the priest blessed the deceased and thanked the men for caring enough for their friend to go to such lengths and then they returned to their base. The rest of the day was spent quietly.

As usual, just before lights out Garrison came to the cons room. The joke that he was tucking them in had become old long ago but it had persisted. Tonight he saw Chief was missing but no one mentioned it. They knew he was in the playroom saying good bye. Garrison had hoped the ceremony would help but he had his doubts.

A strangled gasp woke the room's occupants and Casino lit the candle beside his bed. Chief had come to bed at some point in the night but was now sitting up with his hands over his face. Actor decided it was time to change tactics. He pulled on his robe and came to stand over Chief. A shadow slipped out through the door.

"I heard you threaten him. I was outside the door and I heard you. When he wanted to give up I heard you threaten to carve him up."

Chief's hand flew from his face and sat up straight. "NO! No I never. I never said that. I didn't!"

"What did you tell him? And don't you lie to me."

"All I said was that he could do it. I told him he was strong. I thought he was. I thought that with a little encouragement that he could." Tears were streaming down his face and his voice caught. "I swear, I never hurt him. Never. I never meant for him to die." His voice faded. "I wanted him to live. Please, you gotta believe me."

Chief's gaze shifted to the side past the conman and he swung his legs over the side of the cot. "I didn't want you to die. I wanted you to have what I have, only better. He said he never hurt you. I tried but I couldn't. I'm sorry," he said as he slipped to the floor. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to die. My life is yours. I don't deserve it." Chief bowed his head and said, "Do what you want, I won't fight."

"Chief," said Garrison as he entered the room, turned on the lights and came over to the stricken man. He squatted down, put his hand under Chief's chin and lifted. "Chief, he knows." He looked into the tortured eyes and saw the pain and the guilt. Moving his hands to his shoulders he urged him to stand. There was resistance at first but he gave in and stood.

"Your dream," said Garrison, "is not him returning, it's your feelings guilt but you've got nothing to feel guilty for. You said all you did was encourage him. Isn't that what we did when you went through it? Didn't we try to help you, to support you, just like you did? If you had died, should Actor and I and even Casino, should we have felt guilty? Should we have blamed ourselves saying we killed you?"

"No."

"Then why do you blame yourself for his death? You did the same that we did."

"That's different," he mumbled.

"How? How is that different? What makes you any different than Always Running? You are both men, both Guardians, both human beings…" There was no answer.

Actor knew what had to be done but was unsure of the reaction. Not everyone, especially ones from other cultures, believed as he and his culture did. To do nothing was not in his nature especially if he thought he could help. So, hoping for the best he approached, opened and lifted his arms. There was no rebuff so he stepped in closer and enveloped the young man, wrapping his arms around him. He felt the initial stiffness but no rejection. He moved his hand gently up and then down his back and felt him relax. Chief's head turned and lowered coming to rest on Actor's shoulder as he shuddered and a sob choked him.

Actor wondered if it would help the young man if Garrison did the same but worried the Officer might not be comfortable with the contact. Americans tended to be stand offish in this regard. He would leave it up to him. Chief would pick up on anything forced.

Chief shifted and Actor knew he was ready. Releasing the young man he stepped back but kept his hand on his shoulder as he said, "We are here for you and we are very proud of what you did for Always Running. It would have been so much easier to just turn your back but you did not. You went out of your way to be good to him. Thank you." He stared into his eyes projecting his feelings, his true feelings, not the false conning ones.

Chief closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. When he opened them he looked to all the men around him and taking a deep breath he said, "Thanks." The torment on his face had eased. He still looked saddened but the guilt was easing. The men began drifting back to their beds. As Garrison passed the conman's cot he nodded to the hall and he followed.

"Thank you for your help with Chief. He, he needed that though I was surprised he accepted it."

"Under normal circumstances I am sure he would not but you are right, he needed it." Both men wondered if such touching was acceptable in his culture. Had he learned to abhor human touch? They might never know.

"Get some sleep, and thanks," said Garrison as he turned to go.

"You too, and you are welcome." He turned and went back in to the room he shared with the other cons.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning Garrison woke at his usual time, threw on his clothes and headed out for his usual run. The sun was just rising as he set off and would burn off the heavy dew very quickly. He crossed the courtyard and headed into the back part of the estate. He had found the path that ran through the fields and the forested area on his first foray into this part of the property. Because it ventured so far from the building and the controlled area he had not taken the cons there at first. Out of desperation he had forced them to run it one day when they were being particularly quarrelsome. It had done the trick. All he had to do since then was threaten and they backed down.

Almost a month later he had been surprised when he heard footsteps behind him. He glanced behind him and saw Chief struggling to keep up. Not wanting to discourage him he had adjusted his speed. The course was long so he fully expected the other man to pull up but he had persevered and finished it without stopping. He was exhausted by the end but the smile on his face showed he was pleased with his accomplishment. Since then he had appeared each morning and had increased his endurance to the point Garrison did not have to slow down for him. He was still spent by the end but he refused to give in.

The two men set off at an easy pace. This section was flat and ran parallel to the courtyard wall. Two hundred yards on it turned and crossed the rolling fields. Eventually the path led into the forested area. This section had been left fallow because of the uneven ground. The two men ran on hardly slowing for the sloped sections. All was going well until the path swung to the left and followed the stream. Garrison heard his shadow at his shoulder draw closer and he moved over. Chief never challenged him, seeming content to pace him. If he was going to challenge him then he was going to give him a chance. He shifted over to give him room.

This section of the stream ran slowly meandering along the flat. Over time the bank along the bend had been eroding. The overnight rain and the lingering dew brought it to the critical point so all it took was the little extra weight of a foot to detach the clod of earth and drop it into the water. The owner of the foot followed the clod.

Garrison saw the motion out of the corner of his eye and then it was gone followed by a splash. With his momentum it took another step to respond. His head turned to assess the situation and his body turned to allow him to see back behind him. His feet followed and he was off the path. The extra step took him onto the beginning of the rise so his next step did not stop where he expected it to stop. Over balanced, his body continued forward and he landed face first in the water. Fortunately the stream was filled with the nights run off so it cushioned the fall of both men.

Garrison fell in seconds later but he had fear on his side spurring him to action. Thrusting with his arms he pushed himself up and scrambled to his running companions side. He lay sprawled face down in the water, not moving.

The commander in him took over and he put his hands under his shoulders and rolled him lifting his head clear of the water.

"Chief! Come on Chief." He watched his chest but there was no motion. Hauling him up onto the bank he began pressing on his back. "Come on Chief, breathe." His anxiety began to ease as his patient coughed. Another cough and a groan prompted him to ask, "You all right, Chief?" Not waiting for a response he grabbed his shoulder and lifted. "Let's get you rolled over. I want you sitting up." His patient assisted with rolling over but that was as far as he got. Instead of sitting he groaned and put his hand to his head.

A quick look at the area of the water where Chief had fallen showed several large rocks partly submerged. He must have struck his head when he fell.

"Let me see" and he touched Chief's wrist. He moved his hand but there was no evidence of damage. He would be all right.

"Do you hurt anywhere else?" he asked. A fall like that could sprain an ankle or a wrist. A break would be serious.

Chief took several breaths assessing how he felt then shook his head slowly. His head hurt but that was all.

"Can you sit up?"

He had to get back and get dry and maybe lie down for a bit. Carefully he pushed himself up and the world tilted and faded at the edges. He waited, eyes closed until the feeling had passed.

Garrison saw his difficulty and he put his arm under his companion's arm and helped him to his feet. He stood, eyes closed then began to lean.

"Chief?" The Indians eyes opened and he blinked which told Garrison he was going to need help. Taking the other man's arm he put it over his own right shoulder and moving in close he put his right arm around the young man's waist and pulled him in close. "Let's get you back. You ready?"

They started off slowly but surely until they came to the first muddy slope. One step, two, then Chief slipped and fell pulling Garrison down on top of him. When he realized what had happened the blonde rolled to the side. Carefully he stood then bent down to help the other. Chief slowly sat up, head down, but moved no farther.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I miss judged how slippery it is. Here, give me your hand."

"No," and he shook his head. "I don't mean that," he said sadly.

Garrison waited, confused.

"I shouldn't a. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I should a told you sooner. I was gonna."

"I don't understand," said Garrison squatting down. "What shouldn't you have?"

"Last night when…"

"When what?" It was a pleasant morning but the fall into the stream had left them both wet and now they were muddy as well. Getting back to a shower and a coffee sounded good. In an attempt to get to the bottom of Chief's distress he lifted his chin and bit back a gasp. There was blood running down half his face and dripping from his chin.

"Chief, you're bleeding," he said as he pulled off his shirt and used it to bind the wound. "I've got to get you back. Let's get you up."

Chief remained sitting. "No. I gotta tell you and you gotta …"

"I am **not** going to hit you, you understand?" He paused. "I am going to get you to a Doctor. Now, let's get you up." Not waiting for compliance he took his arm in one hand and put his other under his other shoulder.

Chief would not fight him so he got his feet under himself and he stood. They tackled the hill again, this time on an angle and made it to the top. Slowly they made their way back to the house.

As they neared the steps Actor, usually the next one to rise came out to meet them. He had seen them from the window and knew immediately that something was wrong.

"What happened? Let me help." Actor stepped in on the other side but Chief rebuffed him as he pulled his arm away. Actor was not really surprised. The two men had an unusual relationship and he wondered again if all Guardian-Handler relationships were like this. He felt the familiar twinge of regret. He knew and had many close relationships with women all over the world but he had never known a man that looked up to him like Chief did to Garrison. It was not like between a father and a son but that was as close as he could explain.

"I will get the keys and meet you out front," he said as he headed inside. The other two continued on.

With his head wrapped the patient was driven to the local doctor's office. This was closer and they knew that Chief was very uncomfortable on the base. The Doctor listened to Garrison's explanation of what happened. When the Doctor turned to his pharmacy cabinet Garrison told him that he could not have anything for the pain; he was addicted. Sulfa was all he could do. The wound was flushed, stitched and his head was re-bandaged.

The trip back to their base was slower. Chief walked unaided to the sitting room where he was told to lie on the couch. He sat and the others left.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Garrison.

Chief had been worrying about this all the way back. Garrison had the right to beat him. He had said he wouldn't hit him so he had something else planned. Maybe he was going to make him kneel. He waited with head down in submission.

Garrison had been too concerned with the injury to get to the bottom of Chief's guilt. Now was the time. "You said you were sorry. What are you sorry about?"

"I was wrong. I belong to you and I shouldn't a let'm. I was wrong an' I won't ever do that again. I tried to wash it off but…"

"Hold on. I don't understand. Start from the beginning. What did you do?"

"I let'm touch me." He lifted his head but did not quite meet his eyes. "Please don't get mad at him, I shoulda not let'm. It's my fault."

"I still don't understand. Who touched you?"

"He didn't mean nothin'. He was just tryin' ta help." His head went down and he said, "Don't be mad at him."

Garrison was used to the Army way. Questions asked, answers given. He also knew that Chief was not Army when it came to being punished. He was in the wrong and he was to be beaten. Explanations were unnecessary. The Officer had tried in the past to work on this but Chief still did not understand. Guilt and the inevitable punishment had been beaten into him. Would he ever be able to overcome this? All he could do was try.

"When did this happen?"

"Last night."

Garrison thought back to what had happened. Actor had hugged him. Was that what was bothering him? Was it wrong for someone to hug him?

"Am I supposed to beat you because someone else touched you?" He saw the movement and barked out an order to 'sit'. He was too late. Chief was on his knees and he had his answer. No one touched a Guardian.

Garrison stepped in closer, squatted and grabbed his shoulders. "Chief, you are a man. You're a man who just happens to be a Guardian. You are no different to me than Casino or Goniff. Should I beat them if someone touches them?" There was no response. "Sit up." This time he complied.

"You were angry. That's why you…"

"Chief, when I was growing up my family never hugged. We just weren't like that. If I got hurt, Mother would tell me I was a big boy and to go play. We didn't hug. Last night I saw you were hurt but I couldn't. When Actor," he paused to gather himself, "When he hugged you, I knew that was what you needed but I couldn't…"

"It don't matter," said Chief quietly.

"It does." Garrison exhaled. "When I was a boy there was a woman in the neighbourhood that everyone called Nana Bear. She was every kid's Gramma. She always had cookies and milk and she would hug all the kids. I never let her hug me. I just couldn't bring myself to let her; I didn't see what good it did. I was wrong. Just as I was wrong to not hug you last night. I saw for myself, last night, the good that it did."

Maybe because he saw his own hurt in someone else Chief held out his arms. Garrison pushed back his hesitation and opened his arms as he stepped in and accepted the hug. There was the inevitable tension and the contact did not last long but it had happened. The barrier had fallen.

Chief had been raised without the warmth of human contact. He had been shunned as an orphan all his young life and this was reinforced physically by G-CAT. Contact did not come easily to him but in his moment of extreme need someone was there for him. He had accepted the gift. Now he had seen a rare glimpse of Garrison's need and he was able to be there for him. A strange warmth grew in his chest and it felt good.

When Garrison stepped back he still felt uncomfortable, this was not something that would change immediately but he no longer feared this kind of contact. To cover up his unease he fell back on his leadership abilities. "Get some rest; you lost a lot of blood. I'll be back in a while." He turned to go but looked back and the two men spoke in unison.

"Thanks."

They both smiled in understanding. There was no explanation required. They understood.


End file.
